Dear Dad

I observe my peers, older and younger even my siblings and envy what they have, a father
Trying to understand why my father is so distance and don’t want to be bothered
Convincing myself you know maybe I’m better off the hell with him
Yet, it hurts tearing me up inside from limb to limb
Wishing I didn’t love you as much as I do
Aren’t we suppose to?
I was taught no matter what that’s blood, you have to love, don’t give up family first
What about me? My feelings do come first?
They say a father is suppose to be there through their daughters first breakup, you were my first heartbreak and never patched it up
Only if you knew- could see
There’s a pain that sits here inside my heart
I wish you were here yet we are so apart
No stepdad, uncles, or brothers can fill this void space
I just want my dad to finally step up to the plate and take his place